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Youth
Everyone has a gender identity—a feeling or sense of being male, female or somewhere in between. Sometimes people’s gender identity matches their bodies, and sometimes it does not. A person may be born with a penis and identify as a boy or born with a vagina and identify as a girl. This person may have a gender identity that is called “cisgender.” Or someone may be born with a penis and identify as a girl or born with a vagina and identify as a boy. This person may have a gender identity that is called “transgender.”
When you share your gender identity with the world through clothing, makeup, how you talk, act and more, this is called “gender expression.” A person’s gender identity and gender expression can be different. Who someone is attracted to—their sexual orientation—is not related to gender identity and expression. Everyone has both a gender identity and a sexual orientation.
Gender roles are the unspoken rules in our society that say how girls and women as well as boys and men are supposed to behave. Sometimes gender roles can be harmful if they keep people from being who they truly are. For example, gender roles that say boys are only supposed to be tough and like sports may keep boys from expressing feelings like kindness or doing things they might enjoy, like knitting.
What’s important to remember is that people deserve to express themselves in ways that feels right for them and to be respected no matter how they identify, look or dress
Yes, there are totally more than two genders! Some people identify as one gender that is not male or female, some identify as more than one gender, and some people don’t identify as any gender.
It’s okay if you can’t identify a person’s gender when you first meet. It’s more important not to judge someone based on the gender that person uses to identify themselves.
We usually assume people’s gender identity based on how they look or dress, but some people’s gender identity may not match how they look or dress. In some situations, when you’re not sure how someone identifies, it’s okay to say, “I want to be respectful of how you identify, so could you tell me which pronoun you prefer I use?” This gives the person an opportunity to tell you their preferred pronoun (he, she or another word).
Lots of people have qualities that are associated with a different gender. If you feel like your gender identity does not fit neatly into a boy or girl category, that’s okay. You may choose to dress or style your hair in a way that matches how you feel. As you figure out what feels right for you, seek the support of a trusted adult or friend, who are often extremely helpful!
If you feel like your body does not match how you feel inside, then you should definitely talk to an adult you can trust. People who feel like their bodies do not match how they feel inside may identify as transgender or trans. You can get help figuring out how to have what you feel inside reflected on the outside with the help of trusted adults, like parents, counselors and doctors.
