Intimate Partner Violence (Asia Region)

1. What was it like to watch this video? What is your initial reaction?
2. How easy or difficult can it be to know which acts are considered intimate partner violence, or caring?How can a person differentiate them?
3. Read the scenario below and ask participants whether they think the partner is caring or controlling and why.
   My partner is always texting me to find out where I am and what I’m doing. He sometimes gets a little upset if I take too long to respond. I think he does it because he really likes me, but my mom thinks it’s not good. Is there something wrong with him wanting to know where I am?
4. After watching the video, was there a specific scenario that came to your mind from reading a book or watching a movie? What are some ways people can contribute to a world with less intimate partner violence?
5. What are your key takeaways from this video and discussion?

• Respect participants’ opinions
• Practice active listening
• Use inclusive and gender-neutral terms
• Give everyone a chance to answer share
• Remind participants to be respectful of others and practice active listening

• This discussion may trigger trauma in participants who are currently or have previously experienced intimate partner violence. Be sure to let them know they can talk to you after the session if they would like to. Be prepared to provide credible referrals or information and qualified online or offline counselling or health services as needed.
• It’s important not to encourage participants to share their personal stories or experiences in the group context.
• Avoid making any assumptions about participants’ personal relationships.
• Be mindful and responsive to partici-pants’ reactions and engagement should you need to adjust questions or the flow of activities along the way.
• Be attentive to participants’ special needs. Some participants may need special arrangements to be able to engage in discussions or activities. For instance, you can adjust the physical space to accommodate participants with limited mobility or modify the activity to require less movement.

1. “What was it like to make the healthy relationship dish?” to the chefs, or “what was it like to judge the dish?” to the judges.
2. What were some similarities or differences in the dishes?
3. What is your key takeaway or lesson learned from this cooking competition?

Conclude the session by sharing the key summary points below:

When two people are in a relationship, they still have to respect one another’s boundaries and ask for and receive consent for all sexual behaviors. To build a healthy relationship, it helps to know your boundaries, exercise giving and receiving consent, and build the relationship with love, honesty, trust, and respect. It is crucial to understand the key characteristics of a healthy relationship, in order to be able to better recognize when a relationship is unhealthy and differentiate between these, such as by notmistaking controlling behavior for love.

Intimate partner violence is not always physical, which includes hitting, punching, or kicking, but may also include stalking a partner, following them wherever they go, refusing to leave, controlling their behaviour, or harassing them in person or by phone/texts, emails, or posts. Forcing a partner to engage in sexual behaviors without their permission is also sexual abuse.

If someone is being name-called, yelled at, humiliated, gaslighted, or told what they can do and cannot do by their partner, they are a victim of emotional or psychological abuse. There is also another form of intimate partner violence where some people control their partner’s access to money, which is financial abuse.

Remember that all forms of intimate partner violence can be a one-off incident or repeated incidents – the latter is what we more commonly refer to as ‘abuse’, and both are unacceptable. If you know someone who is currently or has previously experienced intimate partner violence, you should never blame the survivor or person who has experienced violence. You can be vocal about offering a safe space, being an active and supportive listener, and encouraging them to talk to a trusted adult.

Abuse – Any action that intentionally harms or injures another person. When someone abuses another person, it means that they are seeking to control the other person through abuse.

Boundaries – limits and rules a person can set within relationships. A person with healthy boundaries can say “no” to others when they want to, but they are also comfortable opening themselves up to intimacy and close relationships.

Consent – People are actively willing to engage in a particular behavior or activity, and express their consent by saying “Yes! That is ok with me” verbally, or through non-verbal gestures like willingly nodding head, sign language, or a written sign.

Emotional Abuse – Pattern of behavior in which the perpetrator insults, humiliates, and generally instills fear in an individual in order to control them. The individual’s reality may become distorted as they internalize the abuse as their own failings.It includes undermining a person’s sense of self-worth through constant criticism; belittling one’s abilities; name-calling or other verbal abuse; damaging a partner’s relationship with the family; or not letting a partner see friends and family.

Gaslighting – a form of psychological manipulation in which the abuser attempts to sow self-doubt and confusion in their victim’s mind. Typically, gaslighters are seeking to gain power and control over the other person, by distorting reality and forcing them to question their own judgment and intuition.

Intimate Partner Violence – A pattern of behavior in any relationship that is used to gain or maintain power and control over an intimate partner. It causes physical, sexual or psychological harm, including physical aggression, sexual coercion, psychological abuse and controlling behaviours.

Physical Abuse – Hurting or trying to hurt a partner by hitting, kicking, burning, grabbing, pinching, shoving, slapping, hair-pulling, biting, denying medical care or forcing alcohol and/or drug use, or using other physical force.

In partnership with Kahoot!, AMAZE has designed a series of quizzes to spark meaningful conversations and create engaging learning experiences. Peer educators can encourage participants to play this optional quiz from AMAZE on Kahoot! Academy at the end of the session (in-person or virtually) for which participants use a smartphone, tablet, or computer to participate.

Access the Kahoot here https://bit.ly/kahoot_intimatepartnerviolence
Below is the list of questions in the Kahoot Quiz, and the respective answers are in orange.

1. [Quiz] What are some qualities of a healthy relationship? Select all that apply.
   1. Trust
   2. Jealousy
   3. Respect
   4. Communication
2. [True of False] It’s okay if a person follows their partner wherever they go and refuses to leave. It’s their form of care. False, it is unhealthy behavior and is also considered abusive.
3. [Quiz] What behaviors are considered emotional abuse? Select all that apply.
   1. Yelling
   2. Humiliating someone in front of their friends
   3. Gaslighting
4. [Quiz] What behaviors might signal that someone is in an abusive relationship?
   1. Studying together
   2. Sharing a playlist and watching movies together
   3. Pushing someone to do something that they don’t want to do
   4. Having a disagreement
5. [True or False] Intimate partner violence is never the fault of the person who has been abused. True